Let me remind myself...

I'm a queen not just a ordinary queen but a black one. I'm a threat to many and because of that it finally open up my eyes that they see something in me that I have not seen. I'm a strong young lady. I've dealt with a lot of battles. Won some and than lose some but at the end of it all I became stronger and wiser from it. I'm a child of God, not just any Gods but the God of Elijah. Because he's my father I'm built to be undefeated and forever cover by the blood of Jesus. I'm a book full of stories from my personal experiences and from others personal stories. There can never be another me no matter if I get duplicated. There's no women on this earth that can encounter what I've experienced and still be standing. No one! 

This year

I've learn a lot these months. I realized that I'm good at observing people and their ways. I can tell when someone is being phony or not. This year I have become more prayerful than I ever been before.

I've learn

I've learned through my personal experiences in life that you got to always pay attentions to people and their actions. When someone shows you their true color the 1st time you have to pay close attention and DONT ignore it. It's okay to help others but make sure that you are aware of who you're helping. Not everyone that advice you mean good towards you. You have the balance the high with the low. 

Dear God of Elijah

You already know what I'm about to say. I'm want to thank you for EVERYTHING! you have been there for me through it all. If I'm noting in this world I know that I'm something in your eyes. You know me! The real me. You knew what I was going to go through when you was creating me. Even though I get older every year and my body changes through every age I'm still a child of God. Sometime I'm ungrateful towards you. Do I mean it? No I'm just young and naive. But I want to thank you for still sticking around and watching over me. I could of been dead a long time ago. But each blessing mornings you give life into me. I honestly be thinking how can I still have a good heart after all that I been through? But than I think about Jesus and his kind heart that he had for everyone even those that did him wrong. I finally understand why I still have a good heart b/c my heart reflect the goodness of Jesus's heart. I've disappointed you too many time but still you show me your mercy. There were time when I even doubted you because I was foolishly walking my sight and not by faith. That's where I went wrong. I don't have the last saying about my life only you do. I have faith in you that you'll make a way for me. 

Crying in my dream....

I had a dream this morning. In it I was crying heavy. I remember the way that I cried was the same way that I cried the last time I dream of Miss appearing in my dream. In my dream I was seeing a guy who got adopted by these kind rich people. At first he took them for granted and didn't appreciated everything that they did for him until later on when he had goting older. He came to his sense and ending up doing good. Which made his people proud of him. Than I saw myself reflecting on all the good people that had help me throughout my life. I was sooo overwhelm that I starred crying like a new born tears were poring from my eyes like waterfall. I don't know exactly what this dream mean but I woke up and pray to God to cancel every bad dreams.

It get tiring...

Sometime I just be exhausted from everything that I encountered. Sometime it's the pain that remind me not to be too naive. I been through hell and back and I don't want to go there again. I'm tire of the same ol same ol. When will I get it together? I need God to protect me from the evil that is surrounding me. 

I want the best for myself

I just want to see myself advance. I don't want to be in the same spot that I was in when 3-4 months from now. I want to live a good life and have good vibes with good people in my life. I don't want to bag for nothing in life but for mercy from God. I've been through a lot and it's time for me to overcome. I can't be siting in one spot for the rest of my life. God has so much things to offer to me. I'm going to discipline myself and raise myself. I am all I got on this earth.