Disciplining myself.

It's not a easy process but i am doing it. It's hard raising your own self and not knowing where tomorrow will take you. But I have faith in God and I believe in Jesus. I find it interesting that for me I get to finally see others true colors after the damaged is done. I came to conclusion that not everyone that smile infront of me or advice me mean good to me. I have to take what I learn from my mistake and make the best out of what I have from the ashes. In life there are going to be people who you never expected to cross you cross you. You going to get hurt regardless what. It's just life. You can't let it define you or better yet break you. 

I can't stop thinking about him

Yesterday on feb 8th of 2015, I was on my way home when I look up from my phone and saw these bunch of guys staring at me this one guy particular had just walk out and he had said hi to me along with the other guys. I smiled and kept walking stop and look back to see if he was still there I saw him entering inside his car and drove off and all I could think of was like damn he's attrictive. If it's ment to be God would allowed it. So as I kept walking I saw him again! He had made a u turn and pull down his window and asked me my name and if I wanted a ride of course I said yes and went in. He drove me to my block and and he parked the car while we talk and got to know each other. It was so weird the way that he read me. Telling me that I was hurt and that I had trust issues. I was like how do you know all of these? He reply saying that he could tell. To be honest I don't even know. I just want to be happy and to make sure that my life is set before I go falling for someone. 

Feb 8th 2015

So tonight I met this guy. And the way that he read me completely scare the crap out of me. 

Looking forward...

I had enough! The lies, betray, this and that have had me down for some quite time now. BUT I bounce right back up like a worm. I feel a good change coming. I just need to buckel my seat belt and keep my eyes on the cross because my time is coming and I'm ready for it. 

February 2nd 2015! ❤️

So today is my birthday and I've received sooo much love from close love ones and friends. This is the same day that I realize that I'm single and that I was in the wrong relationship. Sometime you'll have to learn some lessons through pain and experience. You can't always depend on ever advice that comes your way. You have to decide rather or not if you going to take the advice or not. But at the end you'll eventually learn your lessons after all. 

A blessing...

It hurt to know that the one person that you were depending to atleast be the 1st to wish you a happy bday didn't make any attempt. You can bend break your back for someone but it does not guarantee that they'll return back the favor to you. But like my mother always said "every disappointment is a blessing". Well cheer to this blessing in disguise. The best is yet to come.  

I'm scare of the feeling that I'm feeling. I don't want to open up and get shut. I'm tire of being heart broken. For once in my life I just want and need someone that is going to be loyal to me. Someone that is going to be there for me.